Life can be irritating specially if the person you are in bed with snores at all times, when single or on a business trip, wherever you go and wherever you are it pays to always carry precautions and pack earbuds as well as contraceptives.

Noise cancellation is now very popular. There is much to drown out and not be disturbed by, be the road works, 747s strafing your home or chronic snorers. The world is full of noise irritants which need to be silenced, drowned out or damped down. No environmental stressor is more damaging to the skin than a partner who snores.

Sleep deprivation and beauty are incompatible. Beauty sleep is adversely affected by local high-decibel eructation, pastimes, blotchiness and horrible big spot in the middle of your forehead are the most common symptoms of passive snoring. Long gone are the days when fancying a man and going back to his place. I used to check whether there was any anti-throat spray on his bedside table before deciding to stay over.

But, now married, the issues consequential to spending your life and virtually every night of it with someone impersonating a building site in the middle of the Daytona 500 meet needs to be addressed, and not by stuffing your ears with cotton wool or your bloodstream with 5cl malt miniatures but by headphones.

Athletes arrive at stadiums wearing them. Gamers are never out of them. Kids communicate with their parents in sign language from under them, and more and more people are wearing ANC (Active Noise Cancellation) to bed, for their skin’s sake as much as their sanity.

The sort of headphones you choose to wear depends largely on the size of your wallet and your head, and how much you appreciate music and value high fidelity. Self-care is about personal sound-proofing. Smart silence empowers your complexion, whether it be Bose, Beats or Apple Airpods, you need a pair of  first-rate cans, and not just for running in or to download your workout playlist into, but all the clattering and clanking coming from your beside straight into your ear canal. It’s called extreme audio downscaling and its beautiful. I love my Sony headphones, but I can’t wear them in bed where in-ear is better than over- ear.

MOMENTUM True Wireless 3
MOMENTUM True Wireless 3

Snoring combating wireless earbuds are the thing teamed up with pillow mists, be that a pretty Gold Tone or Anthracite Oxygen Bang & Olufsen Beoplay EX, and Cowshed, it is always nice to sleep with something holistic and Danish, or a Senheissen Momentum True 3, and this works! the combinations shuts off the noisiest of nocturnal podcasts.

To get off to sleep I don’t count sheep jumping over a farm gate, instead, I try and remember, and name all the ingredients and essential oils in my pillow mist. I start off with jasmine, sandalwood and cananga odorata (ylang ylang), then its sandalwood and balsam extract, by the time I get to citrus zurantiim bergamie, my eyelids are drooping and I am beginning to doze off. The final words that go through my mind as I drift off completely are Eugenol and Isoeugenol.

Miaroma Lavender

My husband’s snoring got so bad that I had to go to the doctor. I described the symptoms, the tossing and turning, the confused circadian rhythms and the domestic violence. He listened, nodded and said, Miaroma which I thought was a terminal condition; then he said, Honeysuckle which I thought a little forward and fresh, and inappropriate in a doctor-patient relationship, but he was prescribing or suggesting lavender pillow spray.

Deep Relax Sleep Mist.

I asked a friend for a second opinion and she said Bach. I immediately thought of sound hubs play sedating sounds like crashing waves, rainfall or wine chimes rather than fugues and Orgelwerke, but she was recommending a brand of flower remedy rescue pastilles and non-habit forming, fast-acting, non-sedative, heavy on Star of Bethlehem, and white Chesnut sprays. She had tried everything. She had almost bankrupted herself on CBD oils, melatonin capsules and caplets, valerian tablets, cranial electrotherapy, bed eucalyptus bubble baths, essential almond oil, chamomile, Lenor, Night Nurse, Ovaltine, weighted blankets, oat milk body lotion, cannabis, lullaby CDs and caffeine curfews, as well as blue light and social media screen time diets.

The Atomiser
The Atomiser diffuser

She suggested reciting the contents of sleep sprays, she guaranteed I would fall asleep before I got anywhere near Vetiveria zizanioides, and stay asleep, if I also wore earbuds.

So every night, I now spritz my nightie and dowse him with lemon myrtle and melissa, and our pillows with Aromatherapy Associates Deep Relax sleep mist, and put on my discreet but adaptive noise canceling, new generation, high-end ears.

My life has changed. The punching and swearing has stopped. I get a good night’s rest and my skin gets its collagen.

Marital disharmony is prevented and a radiant, healthy, unblemished complexion see the result. My beauty sleep is uninterrupted. I can sleep through anything, even the Ashwasangha powder and the hash brownie crumbs in the sheets. It also helps that my husband has moved into the spare room because of my snoring.